To all the girls with high standards, don’t lower them in 2018
To all the girls with high standards, don’t lower them in 2019
SERENA BECKER
springtime
i want this to consume you
like loving away my wounds is
the first thing you think of when you wake
and what keeps you up at night
i want to be treasured
with tokens of love strewn about our life together
flowers on a tuesday, notes written on bathroom mirrors
i’m a gift you can keep, if you’d like
i want to throw away everything
i’ve ever touched
start anew, you and i
blooming up from the ashes
someone asked if it bothers me
someone asked if it bothers me, the idea of him moving on.
it’s been a year and a half, 20 months, something like that. we are worlds apart. i don’t write to you when i write about you anymore. and yet, i am still unlearning the things you taught me to believe about myself because you were too weak to take responsibility for yourself.
i once read a quote somewhere, the type of quote that strikes you hard enough to write it down. you forget about it for months, years – until someone asks you a simple question: does it bother you, the idea of him moving on?
“no one can be ‘more’ than me, so he would be getting what he could handle: less.”
when a relationship ends, people – women – tend to say things like “i guess i just wasn’t enough for him.” we take responsibility. we shoulder the blame. we carry the weight of both parties’ feelings. we know how to do this; we’re well-trained.
i am not supposing that another woman is less than me simply because she may suit you better than i could. i know now – a year and a half, 20 months later – that i have always been too much for you. being too much for you is a medal of honor; losing you, a certificate of achievement.
i’m not angry anymore. i know things happen and people make mistakes. but you are the sort of man who prefers stagnation. you will stay in place and blame the scenery for passing you by. i can only hope she is the sort of woman who will someday outgrow you, too.
may we all strive to be too much for men who are far too little.
Being single Is soooo chaotic like this is why I’m manic depressive. Every day it is something and I’m easily baited into being insane I want to calm down but I can’t bc gemini Venus n I need everything to be like. Screen play worthy
curse of the gem venus
“All mature adults must accept that they are essentially unknowable–and that they will never know the one they love. Even when we kiss there is distance; it is a distance that cannot be bridged by romantic love and must be respected if a relationship is to succeed. The real metric by which we can gauge the authenticity of love is not how close we want to be, how merged and intermingled, but how far we can stand apart and still be together.”
— Frank Tallis, The Incurable Romantic and Other Tales of Madness and Desire (via wordsnquotes)
